


Small Victories

by lily_rainn



Series: LilyRainn does Aroaceing the Line 2021 [2]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: 18 month gang, 18-Month Time Gap (Rusty Quill Gaming), Canon Asexual Character, Coming Out, Gen, please check the notes theres some minor aphobia warnings in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29654265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lily_rainn/pseuds/lily_rainn
Summary: Day 2:Coming Out-In the Closet-Erasing the Line–BlackZolf comes out to the 18-month crew.
Series: LilyRainn does Aroaceing the Line 2021 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177520
Comments: 14
Kudos: 35
Collections: AroAceing the Line





	Small Victories

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic, Zolf does face some (teasing, not malicious) aphobia from others in the group. It’s very brief but if it’s going to hurt you to read that coming from these characters, take care with this one.

“Well, you know, it’s just… not for me.”

Zolf isn’t surprised that, with the four of them, the conversation eventually turned to sex. Honestly, what surprises him is that it’s taken a couple of weeks. On some of the ships he’s been on, it had been a matter of hours before he got caught in some bawdy conversation with the crew that set his teeth on edge.

Carter looks at him curiously over the fire. The four of them – Zolf, Carter, Barnes, and Wilde – are camped out for yet another night in the middle of nowhere, trying to avoid civilisation and darting between pockets of desolate, uninhabited safety as they make their way east across the continent. The stars are starting to come out overhead as the four of them huddle round the small cooking fire they’ve made, now their need for good hot food has overwhelmed their fear of being discovered. Zolf is cooking, as much as one can out here. The others are talking, and he had been quite happy to leave them to their conversation, but they had to drag him into it, didn’t they?

“What do you mean, not for you?” Carter says a bit incredulously. “Like, _no-one’s_ for you?” 

“Pretty much, yeah.” Zolf feels himself going red and hopes it’s not visible in the stark shadows cast by the low, flickering light. “S’just a thing, you know? Most people get interested in it, at some point. I didn’t.”

“Really, Zolf? I’m surprised,” Wilde says, a smile playing around the corner of his lips. It’s a mischievous smile, a hint of a Wilde that he rarely sees any more. It makes him think he’s about to be mocked, and he’s right. “Just no-one out there to live up to those Campbell novels, I suppose.”

“Alright, Wilde, just ‘cause you’ve fucked your own books doesn’t mean we’re all into it.” It’s crude, and it’s mean, and it’s intentionally so. Wilde splutters a little, and Carter laughs uproariously, and the conversation moves on. Zolf manages to relax a little as Carter starts to tell a story about a very pretty girl who worked in a bookshop, and he feels the group’s attention move away from him. Most of it, anyway.

Through Carter’s boasting and Wilde’s quipping, Zolf catches Barnes’ eye across the campfire. He catches the understanding, the dawning realisation in the usually stern expression. Zolf gives him a nod and gruff, knowing smile and turns his attention back to cooking.

Zolf and Barnes both stay up until after the others have gone to bed. And they talk. Barnes is stoic but genuinely grateful, as grateful as Zolf is to have a conversation about this with someone who doesn’t tease him or pity him.

“Thanks,” Barnes says awkwardly, as he prepares to finally turn in for the night. “I always thought there was… Well, it’s good to know it’s not just me, y’know?”

Zolf says he knows and wishes Barnes good night. He stays up just long enough to extinguish the last of the fire. In this unwinnable fight against the infection, it’s been so long since he felt like he helped someone or made the world better. Maybe this was a trivial win – they might all die tomorrow and then what does it matter? But tonight, Zolf told the truth and Barnes was comforted by it. Zolf has to believe that even the smallest victories count for something.

**Author's Note:**

> Coming out has usually been weird, uncomfortable and anti-climactic for me, but every time is worth it for the occasion I could teach someone about themselves. Wish I could bottle that joy.


End file.
